Verona | being home and setting boundaries

This first week back in Italy and in my hometown has been incredibly confusing and challenging.

Living abroad is really hard, too, but I couldn’t have ever imagined that coming back would have been on the same, if not worse, level.

After two years abroad and two more living in another city, I knew that this (temporary) transition into my parents’ house wouldn’t be an easy one since the very beginning.

I have found myself crying countless times by now.
The other day I woke up all lost as I really wished I could be back with my Madrid toilet. Yes, I’m that lost.

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Are you following me on instagram? Can’t wait to share more things with you there!

 

And yesterday, after listening to BRAIN DUMP – podcast, I was finally able to put some words to what I was feeling.

Taking care of ourselves is important at all times, and the best way for me to do so right now is to set clear boundaries.
Living independently and abroad gave me the possibility to get close to my true self.
But what happens when, after a long period away, you get back to that previous environment you were in?
Well, you will feel the need to set boundaries.
A decisive and strict no to certain values and situations you no longer want to come to terms with.

Being back is a struggle, probably even more than leaving, and despite what you might think, it requires you to have the same attention and care towards yourself.
You are you, and you need to be fair, not polite.

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Boundaries define how much you allow the people surrounding you to have an impact on you. They are meant to keep you as mentally stable as possible, protecting you from opinions and decisions that you don’t want to be involved in.
They become almost immediate when you create a life of your own, but when you mix two realities up, the line suddenly gets extremely fine. And you will need to get stronger.

And unfortunately, not everyone will understand you.
And probably they will never want to.
They might probably feel left out, and might even leave negative comments – they have told me that I’m mean and other things I honestly do not remember.
But that’s okay. It’s okay for them to feel like you shut them out, and that their voice is not the important one.
You’re listening to your own.
You’re letting it raise inside you and you’re giving it the power to guide you through the jungle of your emotions.
We know it’s difficult to check-in with yourself and to not further lose yourself among all the other people around you.

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All situations are constantly evolving, and this is just a new challenge that can actually be the source of a greater knowledge of myself and whatever it might mean in more practical ways.
We have the power over our bodies and greater power on our minds.
We need to take care of it and protect it in the best way possible.

I need boundaries. You need boundaries.
We all do.

Let’s make sure we are doing our best – a suggestion?

THE ALCHEMIST by Paulo Coelho has helped me a lot.
It’s one of the books I have read recently and the plot itself brings you to think on the fact that sometimes what seems to be taking you further away from your destination, is actually getting you closer.
Follow the signals and you’ll be fine. Just follow them.

Oh, get ready. I have some great news and super exciting projects I’m working on!

This post contains an affiliate link that will come at no cost for you – if you will complete the purchase, I will just receive a percentage to support my projects 🙂

3 pensieri su “Verona | being home and setting boundaries

  1. Pingback: 5 things that can help you with your Reverse Culture Shock – Una Veronica Vagante

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